Versus the Tau Empire

I played against Josh and his Tau down in the Nerd Bunker. Tau was my very first army when I first started playing Warhammer 40k. I built and painted a bunch of them (mainly Firewarriors and Kroot) and then discovered that though they might build and paint pretty quickly, I wanted more modeling opportunities and general bitz and customization. This caused me to switch over to Chaos Space Marines (which put spikes and skulls on everything) and I haven’t really looked back. However, I still remember much of the Tau codex, so I may have been more familiar with this opposing force than any other that I’ve fought in the Nerd Bunker.

At this point, I don’t remember what the mission or the deployment was. As it turns out, this game was played back in April (just after Adepticon) and my notes are limited and I only seem to have three photos. I apologize in advance for a bit of a light batrep.

I won first turn. I moved up my troops that were on the table (I had reserved my Daemon Prince, Uncle Tickles, my three Stupid Terminators, and my three Obliterators because I didn’t want them to start out on the table due to his superior shooting) and tried firing my Vindicators, which were out of range, as usual. I just didn’t get much done. Josh, on the other hand, wrecked one of my Vindicators by using his Markerlights (kind of like laser targeting) and used his big Hammerhead tank to wreck the other one. Then he wrecked the Rhino full of Berzerkers with missile pods. For those of you scoring at home: I didn’t even hit stuff on my first turn, and the Tau wrecked two of my tanks and one of my personnel carriers on the first turn. It was looking grim on the first turn, which is always good.

Does this die look cocked to you?

On the second turn, my Daemon Prince and Stupid Terminators Deepstruck in to Josh’s back lines. Unfortunately, they didn’t do much once they got there. The Daemon Prince only put a wound on a single Tau Battlesuit and the Stupid Terminators dropped in front of Josh’s Broadsides (fancy battlesuits with twin-linked rail guns) and all three tried to fire their one-shot combi-meltas into them, hopefully taking them out. Of course, the Stupid Terminators completely flubbed this attack, wasting their combi-meltas and not doing anything but waiting to die in Josh’s turn, which is exactly what they did. Luckily, my Chaos Dreadnought (Zoidberg) hit one of Josh’s Hammerhead tanks and caused it to become Shaken, so it couldn’t fire for a turn. Unluckily, Josh’s Firewarriors unloaded a ton of fire (probably why they call them Firewarriors) into the Daemon Prince and he couldn’t make saves to save his life (literally) and he died. Josh killed some of my regular Chaos Space Marine troopers with some random fire and then turn two finally ended.

My Daemon Prince about to take a whole bunch of Tau gunfire to the face

In turn three, my Obliterators and Uncle Tickles (my Chaos Lord in the Terminator armor, the dual Lightning Claws and the winning personality) finally showed up to the party, and tried to get to work. While they were strolling onto the board, my CSM troops wasted some shots on Josh’s Broadsides and again did nothing. He was masterful at making 4+ cover saves on this day. Luckily for me, his luck didn’t hold out forever, and the Obliterators (with their long-range weaponry) finally popped one of his regular Battlesuits, and caused the other one to break and run off the board. I finally had a killpoint! However, Josh had five, and was about to get more. On Josh’s turn, Uncle Tickles died in a hail off gunfire from a bunch of Battlesuits and some of the Firewarriors. The evil Broadsides shot up a few more of my CSM troops, but they didn’t break. Josh’s Kroot also tried to shoot up the CSM guys, but they lived through it. Lastly, the non-Shaken Hammerhead aimed his big, scary railgun at poor old Zoidberg, but he luckily missed.

On my turn 4, my Plague Marines were able to Immobilize one of Josh’s Devilfish transports with their plasmaguns. Zoidberg shot back at the Hammerhead that fired at him last turn, and destroyed the railgun on it, effectively neutering it. The Obliterators all flubbed their shots at the Hammerhead and were awarded no points. The Chaos Space Marine troops completely screwed up their assault against the Kroot and at the end, the last figure in the unit (the Aspiring Champion) decided to give up his aspirations of being a Champion and run away like a little girl. Luckily, I did get a bit of work done in this turn: my mob of Khorne Berzerkers brutally charged a pair of Tau Gun Drones and the poor drones couldn’t make their saves against 25 wounds and they died. Sure, it was overkill, but at this point I had to take what I could get.

So many Wrecked vehicles

On Josh’s turn four, his Kroot laughed at my cowardly “Aspiring” Champion as he aspired to run off the board and shot at him as he ran, but they didn’t kill him. Josh’s remaining Battlesuits ganged up on my beloved Obliterators and killed one, leaving two. His Hammerhead and this other Devilfish killed off half of my unit of Berzerkers, who were still high off of their triumph over the two measly Gun Drones. Things were winding down.

Here’s all I have written down in my notes for my turn five: “Nothing. No shots landed.” So things weren’t looking good for me. On Josh’s turn five, his Battlesuit Command Squad killed off my last two Obliterators, leaving me with very little left.

Either we rolled to end the game at the end of turn five or we just called it, I’m not sure anymore and my notes became nothing but swear-words and something about “commie fish-cows” or something. Some people like to say that the Tau are an underpowered army and that is frequently true in close combat. However, their guns are some of the best in the game, as I rediscovered in this particular battle.

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atom smashing

A gaming blog talking about miniatures games, miniatures painting and collecting, game design and other nerdly delights.


The Statistics – 2013

Minis games played:
• WH40k (1850 pts):
   BT/GK vs Kevin (Eldar/DE) LOST
• WH40k (1500 pts):
   BT vs Jason (D.E.) LOST
• WH40k (1500 pts):
   BT vs Kevin (S.W.) LOST
Minis finished:
 none yet
Terrain finished:
 none yet
Cons attended:
 Fire & Ice
updated 28FEB2013

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